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[19 Aug 2005|01:44pm] |
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my future husband
i will be mrs. amber skye marie swardson
and it will be lovely
shhhhh...
i wont tell if you wont! :P
p.s.
more of an update is coming soon when i have more than 5 min at the library comp so no worries! those.. of you who actually do.. which means no one but it makes me feel special to think you do! :P
later gators
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[05 Aug 2005|08:50pm] |
Still in Santa Barbara..
I decided to stay one more night to soak up the free living while I can. Today was pretty good. I pretty much hung out around santa barbara and walked around their downtown area. I got to spend time with gavin which was fun. Little kids amuse me and he is quite a "fireball". Tomorrow I head up the coast pretty early. I havent decided if I am going straight in to San Francisco yet or if I am stopping somewhere else over night and the heading out sunday morning. We will see. I probably wont update again for quite some time since I wont be around a computer but that means the next one will just be more informative YAY. Im off to sleep soon.
<3 amber
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[05 Aug 2005|01:10am] |
so another day another place..
i left encinitas this afternoon and 6 hours later landed in santa barbara. i didnt end up getting to bed until late the night before because dizsa, nate and myself hung out and watched cheesy but fun karaoke in carlsbad until about 1 am then stayed up till about 3 doing computer stuff. it usually only takes about 3 hours to get from there to here but traffic on the 405 was crazy towards west hollywood. its all good though because while i was stuck going one way, so were the cars on the other side. that being all good because i looked over and saw this super rad mini cooper creeping towards me and as it passed i noticed that the driver adam levine. living in california is good for stuff like that :P. it made my day. i am 99.9% sure it was him. he seemed about as happy as i was to be stuck in traffic. this time oliver was ok in the car. he pretty much laid back and slept the whole way, giving me a "whats up" meow every now and then. the drive here was amazing. beyond beautiful and beyond words. anywho.. i arrived in santa barbara around 7 and got a little lost, had a little drama but its no big deal and ended up here safe and sound. i ended up hanging with trish, bobby and gavin at this little fiesta fair thing for about an hour then we came back to their house and watched tv and did some little number puzzle game. that brings me to now. 1:16 in the morning updating my journal because i know i wont be able to for another few days. i dont know if im heading out tomorrow or saturday morning. i havent really decided. i have a place to stay in san francisco which is good (seeing its soooo expensive to stay there) and i also want to camp out that way too then i will head to oregon. i dont really know what i want to do up there yet but im sure i will end up camping a little there too. okie dokie. i am off to sleep. i hope to update again soon.
<3
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[02 Aug 2005|10:28am] |
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coldplay |
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So this is day 2 of my move. Yesterday was crazy. It was emotionally draining more than anything. I built up a family in the apartments that I lived in so it was hard to move and leave them. I had to say "good-bye" to everyone. It took me 3 hours to pack my car with all my stuff so by the time I got on the road it was way hot. Cats heat = not good. About an hour in Oliver started hyperventilating and started projectile vomiting all over me (since his cage was facing me). I was stuck in traffic and it was about another half hour before I could get him in the car. Finally I got to a Carls Jr. and I ran him into the bathroom and let him cool off. After that he was ok but it was still crazy/EW. Poor oliver fuzzy kitty face. I had to stop at Fallbrook first to talk to Colette ( Dizsa mom/Garys ex wife ) about a possible job opportunity in the Seattle area. I would be working at an animal sanctuary and would get internship experience with healing wounded birds and also would get to live on property for free PLUS salary. I dont know, we will see. I havent made any final decisions. After that I headed out to Dizsas and that is where I am now until thursday at the latest. So far today has been unproductive for the most part. We are just now getting ready to go out and about. I will try to update as much as possible on my journey. Next stop is santa barbara then from there its all undecided. Okay I am off.
<3
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[26 Jul 2005|12:35am] |
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straylight run - existentialism on prom night |
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so here is the real update. a lot has happend over the year. a lot of little details that i can leave out. i guess to sum it up all i can really say is that i have "grown up" quite a bit. i learned to live on my own and take care of myself. with this knowledge i also learned that i can pretty much do that anywhere. i never really found my "place" in california so i have decided to move on. i decided to move to seattle, washington and see if i can find my place there. i plan on going to school and doing the things i didnt get to achieve here. i am moving at the end of the week. the reason i posted to many old entries was because i was storing them on the computer i have been using and i have to give it back to the owner. most of my journal entries go in my paper journal but sometimes its easier to just type. until i get a computer in seattle i will be using the library or wherever else i can get to a computer. i hope to update a lot more often. i changed my email address so if you want to keep in touch just let me know and i will give it to you. its been so long since i updated i am not even sure who reads this anymore. i will defenetly update this with pictures from my trip up there asap. i am taking a major scenic route and will have lots to share. take care.
love luck and lolipops
amber
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[26 Jul 2005|12:31am] |
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aimee mann - i can't help you anymore |
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* this is another entry i wrote quite a while ago but never really got around to posting.
have you ever stopped to think how random memories are? how you can go years without thinking about a certain instance in your life and then one thing happens are you start to randomly remember events you had completly forgotten about. i was sitting in the bath tub listening to the radio and "i can see clearly" came on and all of a sudden i rememberd being in the 4th grade at a girl scouts meeting. i was sitting in my troup leaders garage making halloween can holders out of foam, listening to the same song. i even remember that i was making a green cartoon version of frankenstine. i think its that i put so much on music, that it triggers memories randomly. even now, richard marx is on and it made me remember about being around 7 years old, laying on my bed listening to this song over and over. it was one of the first cds my dad bought me (aside from all the beatles albums i had and my inxs albums i also wore out... at that time they werent known to me as inxs but as "the skateboard band... for reasons only the 7 year old me would know). then that links to bryan adams and that song from robin hood. around the same age me and my friends in the apartments i lived in were obsessed with that movie and we started a club where each one of us were different characters from the movie. i ended up being lady sarah (which to this day i still do not understand why :P). we would act out scenes from the movie and then make up our own. just random memories that will probably leave me the second i go to sleep but will again be re-awakend by another event.. or song in the future.
And then there are those events in life that you dont think you will ever forget, and they end up fading with the day. ironically i had to jump out of the bath and run directly over to my computer when these thoughts came to me, in fear that as quickly as they came, they would also leave me. i also went back and added more after wrapping up what i thought was all that i could think of, and then more started coming to me. the mind is a crazy place. well atleast mine is. i remember the most off things. i cant seem to remember birthdays or phone numbers for the life of me, but ask me to sing you a disney song and i can pretty much sing it word for word, at any given time. i guess if the mind was constantly filled every memory of every second of the day we would probably overload. so i guess its a good thing that things get tucked away, even if they are good memories. it makes them more special when you remember them later.
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[26 Jul 2005|12:25am] |
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muse - unintended |
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Name: amber skye
October 15 1982
7:06 AM Time Zone is CDT
plano, TX
Rising Sign is in 15 Degrees Libra
Very attractive and popular, your charm helps you to get your own way and prevents others from getting angry with you. "Peace and harmony at all costs" is your battle cry. You always try to ameliorate or to cosmetically hide any physical ugliness or any angry feelings between people. Flashy, but not gaudy, you prefer to dress elegantly. You generally have good taste in music, art and literature. Beware of the tendency to compromise yourself in your attempt to be agreeable at all times. A bit of a social butterfly, at times you can be vain and lazy. For the most part, however, you are gracious and affectionate, and your refined and aristocratic demeanor serves as a role model to others.
Sun is in 21 Degrees Libra.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it.
Moon is in 03 Degrees Libra.
Affectionate, warm and friendly, life must be a "beautiful" experience for you. Unpleasantness should be avoided at all costs. You tend to overlook other people's faults and you would rather give in than fight. You are uncomfortable with strangers, but at ease and sociable with friends and associates. Indeed, you would rather socialize than work -- you can use your prodigious charm to avoid unpleasant tasks. You need the support and assistance of another in order to get you started on any new project -- you are not a self-starter. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent (i.e., lazy). Your refined aesthetic sensibilities attract you to music, dance, art and any other cultured activity.
Mercury is in 04 Degrees Libra.
You are known for not jumping to conclusions about things. You tend to weigh all possible choices very carefully before making a decision. When in the slightest amount of doubt, you will compromise rather than ruffle any feathers. You are a true raconteur of culture and taste -- your ideas and opinions are neat, elegant and refined. A born diplomat, you dislike discord so much that you will go out of your way to make others feel comfortable and at ease. You speak softly and pleasantly.
Venus is in 16 Degrees Libra.
A very friendly and outgoing person, you hate to be alone. Beware of a continuing tendency to compromise yourself in order to avoid being lonely. Try to be yourself, not what others would like you to be. You have an innate desire to be in refined and elegant surroundings and will go out of your way to create a plush and comfortable atmosphere around you. You have heightened aesthetic sensibilities and are attracted to music and the arts. Try to avoid using your well-known seductive charm in order to get out of doing what you consider to be dirty work!
Mars is in 17 Degrees Sagittarius.
Your every action is motivated by high moral standards and ideals. You will work very hard to improve the lot of the world at large, but you demand action about it -- you do not like to just sit around and talk about doing it in an abstract manner. You like to be where the real action is. You resist mightily any attempts to limit your freedom and you will assist anyone who feels put down and restricted. You are extremely restless by nature -- physical exercise is very important to you if you would maintain your health.
Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Scorpio.
You love to dig deep beneath surface appearances in order to find out what is really happening. A persistent researcher, you are very interested in the psychology of any situation. You tend to become overwhelmed by the complexity of what you uncover, however, and that makes you a bit gun-shy about explaining things to others. But you must learn to try to communicate as best you can because what you know is really very valuable to others.
Saturn is in 24 Degrees Libra.
Although you take quite a while to make decisions, you usually consider all sides to a question, all the pros and cons, and the solution you come up with is very often the correct one. You tend to be very reserved and shy, but, once you make a commitment to someone (in either a business or personal relationship), the partnership is forever. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play and greatly respect the laws and institutions by which you are governed. As such, you are outraged when others break laws or show contempt for authority.
Uranus is in 02 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.
Neptune is in 24 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."
Pluto is in 26 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.
N. Node is in 07 Degrees Cancer.
You genuinely enjoy meeting other people, but you're at your best if you can do so from the comfort of your own home. You prefer others to come to you and tend to feel uncomfortable about leaving your home or neighborhood for any extended period of time. Those who do come in contact with you are struck by your caring and obliging nature -- you really make them feel at home. You form the closest ties, however, with members of your immediate family, especially your parents and children. You're at your best attending or organizing family reunions!
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[26 Jul 2005|12:21am] |
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the decemberists - a cautionary story |
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where would i be
if i would have stayed?
its odd how different paths can take you to completly different places.
its odd how much your actions, whether intentional or not can effect the people and things around you.
such a tangled web of "what ifs".
there are aspects of my life right now that i like very much.
i like my independence above all.
there are also aspects that i miss very much.
people, more than aspects.
in the end i know that i choose this path and the things that are on it.
in the end it all leads to who you are, and who you become.
* this journal entry is actually pretty old, but timeless. it rings true at this point in my life as well. a new chapter of my life is about to begin. another day another story another update very soon to come.
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[01 Jun 2005|02:20pm] |
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musak from my landlords radio |
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i have a lot to update
but i dont feel like doing it right now
so for now, there is this
you're EDWARD SCISSORHANDS!! some people think that
you're just about some guy who has scissors for
hands.. but you're so much more than that.
you're a classic. tim burton directed you too,
you lucky duck.
Which one of my favorite movies are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| a lack of words.. |
[04 May 2005|11:28pm] |
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Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Stability | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Orderliness | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Empathy | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Interdependence | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Mystical | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Artistic | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Religious | |||||| | 30% | | Hedonism | || | 10% | | Materialism | |||| | 16% | | Narcissism | |||||| | 30% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Work ethic | |||||||||| | 36% | | Self absorbed | |||||| | 30% | | Conflict seeking | |||||||||| | 36% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||| | 36% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Avoidant | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||| | 36% | | Wealth | || | 10% | | Dependency | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Change averse | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||| | 36% | | Individuality | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Sexuality | |||||||||| | 36% | | Peter pan complex | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Physical security | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Food indulgent | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Histrionic | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Vanity | |||||| | 30% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||| | 43% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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[27 Apr 2005|11:14am] |
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50 Questions
Erase my answers & put in your own. THEN REPOST As a Bulletin.
1. What is your name? amber
2. What color underwear are you wearing now? black
3. What are you listening to right now? my landlords tv
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? 35
5. What was the last thing you ate? strawberries
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? dark purple
7. How is the weather right now? about 75
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my step dad
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes, smile, hair.. so on
10. Favorite Food? tacos
11. Favorite Drink? coffee
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? i dont have one
13. Favorite place to shop? target (yay dani!), dollar stores, discount clothing stores
14. Hair color: light brown
15. Eye Color: brown
16. Do you wear contacts? nope
17. Top or Bottom? bottom
18. Favorite Month? october
19. Favorite Fast Food? taco bell, jack in the box
20. Last Movie you Watched? the ring 2
21. Favorite Day of the Year? it depends, it changes
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? very much so
23. Summer or Winter? winter
24. Hugs or Kisses? both
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla
26. Do you want your friends to respond back? yes
27. Who is most likely to respond? michelle (::shakes fist at michelle::)
28. Who is least likely to respond? michelle :(
29. What books are you reading? ishmael by daniel quinn
30. Favorite TV Show? medium, lost, will and grace, gilmore girls
31. What's on your mouse pad? my landlords mouse pad is just blue
32. Favorite board game? candy land
33. What did you do last night? slept
34. Favorite Author? does poe count?
35. Who inspires you? people who become what they set out to be
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? butter
37. Dogs or cats? both!
38. Favorite Flower? tulips
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? "good morning mr. kitty!" to my cat... and he meows and frollics all over me
40. Do you still talk to your best friends from middle school? yep yep! well the one that counts
41. What's on your desk? my landlords desk is majorly clutterd
42. Rock Concert or symphony? a combo would be rad
43. Play or Opera? musical! (indeed!!)
44. Have you ever fired a gun? no
45. Do you like to travel by plane? not really. i dont like tight spaces or heights very much so theres that.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? right
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter? smooth
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 but there are 4 on my bed
49. City and State you were born in? plano, tx
50. Ever hitchhiked? nope
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[26 Apr 2005|09:50pm] |
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so levi will be here on thursday
i still have to do my dishes...
UGH! i hate dishes
ah well.. all is good.
so, as if i dont do these enough here is another one of those little survey things...
woot for boredom! :P
and procrastinating when i should be cleaning :D
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. amber
2. skye
3. but, but (dont ask)
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. oober heights
2. tight spaces
3. spiders
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
1. music
2. my friends/family
3. my cat
THREE THINGS YOU HATE:
1.
2.
3.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. my rings
2. my headphones
3. eye liner
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. pj pants
2. black t-shirt
3. red girl/boy briefs from ae
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. hair
3. personality
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. photography
2. making collages
3. finding new bands
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. starbucks
2. a maid (to clean my dishes)
3. zach braff
THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. photographer
2. zoologist
3. music scout
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. england
2. ireland
3. new zealand
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. live in europe
2. road trip across the us
3. fall in love
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| speaking of dreams |
[20 Apr 2005|12:29pm] |
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a acoustic cover of "let it be" on my landlords radio |
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last night i had a weird dream that me and my best friend and my ex boyfriend had these free passes to go to a press conference for random bands at this hotel. the conference room was this huge octognal room with these random hallways branching off that had the rooms where the bands were staying. in the main room there were tons of carnival rides and random stages surrounded by tables. for some reason we were the only ones let in at first so we were just walking around. i got mad at my ex boyfriend for some reason and ran off down one of the hallways and sat down infront of one of the rooms. i had my head in my hands and was just trying to collect my thoughts when i felt someone nudge my leg with their foot. i looked up and it was ben folds. i kinda blinked and he helped me up and walked back into his room and plopped down on his couch, leaving the door open. i heard that he was talking to i peaked around the door and raised my eyebrow and asked "am i supposed to be listening to this?" and he kinda smirked and went on about how much he hates these kind of things. then he sighed and got off the couch and walked out of the room grabbing my hand on the way out and pulling me behind him. he said something like "its about time we go face the crowd" and we headed out to the conference. the rest of the conference is just a blur of faces. my ex boyfriend was working at a booth of sorts and michelle was following brandon flowers around with a notepad. then i kinda lost track of ben folds for a bit and i walked into a room with people i talk to on voodoo chat. everyone kept asking if i had seen random people that they were looking for. i was only in there for a little while and then i turned around and all of a sudden wasnt in the rpg room thing anymore and was back in the hallway with ben folds. he kissed me and told me that things would be ok and i woke up.
it was a weird dream. it was actually really long but i left out things i dont remember clearly.
so theres that.
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[15 Apr 2005|12:25am] |
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have you ever stopped to think how random memories are? how you can go years without thinking about a certain instance in your life and then one thing happens are you start to randomly remember events you had completly forgotten about. i was sitting in the bath tub listening to the radio and "i can see clearly" came on and all of a sudden i rememberd being in the 4th grade at a girl scouts meeting. i was sitting in my troup leaders garage making halloween can holders out of foam, listening to the same song. i even remember that i was making a green cartoon version of frankenstine. i think its that i put so much on music, that it triggers memories randomly. even now, richard marx is on and it made me remember about being around 7 years old, laying on my bed listening to this song over and over. it was one of the first cds my dad bought me (aside from all the beatles albums i had and my inxs albums i also wore out... at that time they werent known to me as inxs but as "the skateboard band... for reasons only the 7 year old me would know). then that links to bryan adams and that song from robin hood. around the same age me and my friends in the apartments i lived in were obsessed with that movie and we started a club where each one of us were different characters from the movie. i ended up being lady sarah (which to this day i still do not understand why :P). we would act out scenes from the movie and then make up our own. just random memories that will probably leave me the second i go to sleep but will again be re-awakend by another event.. or song in the future.
And then there are those events in life that you dont think you will ever forget, and they end up fading with the day. ironically i had to jump out of the bath and run directly over to my computer when these thoughts came to me, in fear that as quickly as they came, they would also leave me. i also went back and added more after wrapping up what i thought was all that i could think of, and then more started coming to me. the mind is a crazy place. well atleast mine is. i remember the most off things. i cant seem to remember birthdays or phone numbers for the life of me, but ask me to sing you a disney song and i can pretty much sing it word for word, at any given time. i guess if the mind was constantly filled every memory of every second of the day we would probably overload. so i guess its a good thing that things get tucked away, even if they are good memories. it makes them more special when you remember them later.
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| <3 |
[05 Apr 2005|11:49am] |
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 calm |
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damien rice - delicate |
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you know
when you've found it
because
you feel it
when they
take
it
away
-damien rice
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[25 Feb 2005|09:03pm] |
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 delovely |
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today i set out to find the beach. doesnt sound to hard does it? well ARHSAGHASGSZFSAFA FASFA is all i have to say. after driving for 3 hours in massive traffic i got to long beach. i was going to attempt to cut through and go to huntington beach or whatever it is but i got lost. i was probably a street away but i had to turn back and come back home because i didnt have enough gas to continue to look AND make it back to palm springs. next week i will be victorious. i will just go to encinitas and see di'zsa and bri. atleast this adventure got me used to california freeways. i set out at 12:30 and got home at 8:00. CRAZY! i also now know my car can drive long distances.. maybe even idaho? on the bright side on the way home i was rocking out to the sounds on michelles mix tape and a cute guy pulled up next to me. i was singing majorly out of tune and he was amused. we did the whole traffic stop and go flirt thing.. well .. mainly it was just me but let me feel special and think it was mutual. anyways.. off i got to rest. long weekend ahead of working and... working. catch ya later.
<3 amber
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